THON! Or not?

Ah, Thon, otherwise known as the dance marathon held every year at Penn State University to raise money to fund the Four Diamonds fund in its effort to eradicate pediatric cancer that has been ongoing since 1973. Where would we be without you? THON does so much good, not only aiding the development and furthering of cancer research but also providing for those affected and their families.

However, not every state enables such things to happen and some in fact have laws prohibiting dance marathons, more specifically competitive dance contests. But still, if those aren’t allowed would it really be a surprise for charity dancing events to be next?

In Alabama, just as in the town shown in the movie Footloose, you may not dance the night away. In fact it says that marathon dance contests are prohibited and adds even more stipulations to this law. The section of law says that, “it shall be unlawful for any person to participate in any marathon dance contest, walkathon contest, or similar physical endurance contest by walking, dancing, riding, or running continuing or intended to continue for a period of more than 8 consecutive hours, whether or not admission is charged or a prize awarded, and it shall be unlawful for any person to participate in more than  one such contest within any period of 48 hours.”

Aw, shucks. Now not only can a THON-like event never take place in Alabama, but I can’t, say…participate in a marathon dance competition and then do a 5k within a 48 hour time period?

I can only guess at the reasons for this law but I sure am happy it doesn’t include charity events and is only in effect in Alabama and not in Pennsylvania. THON had better watch out if this law becomes a trend for other states and spreads to other regions!

Emergencies, What Emergencies?

In light of all of the natural disasters and emergency situations occurring in the world right now, I thought that I would examine a law that attempts to regulate EMERGENCIES. That’s right, not only are emergencies neither expected nor encouraged, they are actually forbidden.

One state goes the extra mile to ensure that emergencies do not happen and has made it into a concrete law. Which state has done this and does it actually try to tell emergencies not to happen, you may ask?

Well it just so happens that the state with the audacity to tell emergencies of any kind to take a hike is Alaska. Although it is more well-known for Sarah Palin and cruises to see whales it does in fact have a law stipulating the likelihood of emergencies.

By Alaskan Law, the entire state rarely has emergencies. But that isn’t even the hardest part to ensure. The actual law exists under the heading of State Policy and says that, “It is state policy the emergencies are held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist.”

So, not only can Alaska not permit emergencies, in actuality they rarely exist. One would suppose that if the states that are more prone to emergencies, such as Louisiana and it’s flooding due to Hurricane Katrina or California and it’s annual fires, had heard about this part of Alaskan law that they could add it to their state policies as well and they could ensure that such things would never happen again.

After all, if it’s a law and it clearly states that emergencies are rarely even found to exist, then they don’t. This also seems like something that someone should have taken the time to try and mention to Japan. Oops! Too soon?

Well if you want your state to be free of emergencies then consider attempting to adopt the policies of Alaska, since after all, if it’s a law then it must be true and the entire United States could be on its way to zero emergencies ASAP!

Burping in Church-Not only rude but illegal!

Bad news for those of you out there that are more vocal than others with your bodily functions than others; it can land you in jail! I never knew that this law existed. Heaven help the person that breaks it, since it not only sounds and is a dumb thing to have count against you on your record. That’s right it is illegal to intentionally burp in church in Nevada.

This law is under the portion of the law codes addressing disturbing religious meetings and details other ways to get in trouble for violating this law also (and there are many, many ways).

The law as it is written says, “Every person who shall willfully disrupt, interrupt, or disquiet any assemblage or congregation of people met for religious worship:

1.      By noisy, rude, or indecent behavior, profane discourse, wither within the place where such meetings is held or so near it as to disturb the order and solemnity of the meeting;

2.      By exhibiting shows or plays, or promoting any racing of animals, or gaming of any description, or engaging in any boisterous or noisy amusement;

3.      By disturbing in any manner, without authority of law within one mile thereof, free passage along a highway to the place of such meeting or maliciously cutting or otherwise injuring or disturbing a conveyance or other property belonging to any person in attendance upon such meeting; or

4.      By menacing, threatening, or assaulting any person therein, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor.”

So basically if you got lost in the middle there somewhere: Don’t disrupt or interfere with in any way any religious meeting of any kind or the people or their belongings attending those meetings.

For me this just means that from now on I am just going to have to try and stay farther than 1 mile away from a church or meeting and not to touch anything or talk to people entering or exiting a meeting and to be far away and not doing anything exciting or annoying during any meetings that are going on whether I know about them or not.

If you’re like me this law is bad news. I see the original need(freedom to assemble and worship) but I will never move to Nevada and be subject to the possibility of getting in trouble for violating this law.

Illegal to x-ray fit shoes!

Yes that’s right. No more x-rays at shoe stores, darn! How will we fit our shoes now? I can’t tell if they fit without an x-ray!

In Wisconsin X-ray machines may not be used to fit shoes. Yes, this is a real law. And almost as funny as the actual law itself is the fact that it is in the fluoroscopic shoe-fitting machines section of the law books. So not only is this a ridiculous law that is totally insane to begin with, but there is also an entire section of law in Wisconsin devoted wholly to these types of fluoroscopic machines.

However, don’t be alarmed because the law only prohibits you from fitting shoes with them. Cause that’s totally what x-ray machines were designed for in the first place right?

This became a law in 1977 and as far as I could find out was never repealed or changed. The law says,

            “Whoever uses, possesses, or controls with intent to so use, any fluoroscopic or x-ray machine for the purpose of shoe-fitting or attempting to fit shoes, or who knowingly permits such machine, whether in use or not, to remain on his or her premises, is subject to a Class B forfeiture.”

Translation: Anyone who has an x-ray machine and wants to fit shoes with it or owns one at all, even if they’re not using it, will get their x-ray machine taken away.

Well, who knows why anyone would even think to make this a law or attempt it in the first place? I certainly don’t. In my mind this law led me to several questions. What would possess someone to try this? Who has an x-ray machine in a shoe store? Isn’t it just easier to try them on and feel them to see if they fit? Wouldn’t this be a really slow way to do business? How in the world did anyone see this as a criminal activity?

These are the questions I will be pondering this weekend, but for some reason I don’t think anyone has the answers to most of them.

Illegal to pump your own gas?

In Oregon it is illegal to pump your own gas unless you own the dispensing device and are properly trained. That’s right, not only must you actually own the machine but must also be able to properly pump other people’s gas.

This is neither fake nor an exaggeration. It is filed under a section of the law entitled “operation of gasoline dispensing device by public prohibited.” The law itself specifies even further, “No owner, operator, or employee of any filling station, garage, or other dispensary where Class 1 flammable liquids are dispensed at retail, shall permit any person other than the owner, operator, or employee to use or manipulate any pump, hose, pipe or other device for dispensing such liquids into the fuel tank of a motor vehicle or other retail container.”

So yes, it is illegal to pump your own gas in Oregon. This law is also found in New Jersey, strangely enough. Thank god we have “gas dispensing technicians” to help us with this extremely important and life altering work for us in both states. I have always wondered why this law even exists to restrict pumping of gas. I mean these are the only two states that I’ve ever heard of where this is true but the other 48 states seem to be doing just fine pumping their own gas so why does this law exist?

For this law I am simply baffled. I guess it could be a liability or insurance clause for the oil companies or the state to avert lawsuits or problems? But in this case I have no idea why this is still in effect in either or both places and it seems a little bit pointless to me, personally. I mean it’s not like chaos has resulted in any other state where this isn’t a law.

Anyways, enjoy being pampered in Oregon and New Jersey with car-side assistance from your very own technician due to this crazy law!

4th of July = Get out of Jail free card?

To some people this day is known as the holiday we use to celebrate Independence Day or the day we declared our secession from Britain. It is a time when people go camping or picnicking or simply enjoy the fireworks, but this is not the case in North Dakota. There it seems that this day is a time where no arrests can be made!

Sound crazy? In North Dakota no one may be arrested on the Fourth of July. The consequences of this law if it is well known could be extreme and quite crazy. Imagine, having a day where you couldn’t get in trouble for any act you committed! The possibilities…

Any ways, the law really does say “ No person shall be arrested during a sitting of the Senate or House of Representatives, within the hall where such a session is being held, or in any court of justice, during the sitting of such court, or on Sunday, or on the Fourth of July.”

Wow, so if just having the fourth of July as a freebie day wasn’t enough, apparently people also can’t be arrested on Sundays or during government hearings! Either the people in North Dakota are very nice and nothing happens or no one knows about this law. If the same law was in effect in Pennsylvania I can think of several people personally that would love to take advantage. Especially the part about Sundays…

So wake up North Dakota and smell the freedom! No arrests on the 4th of July, so you better get cracking on plans for that one thing you always wanted to do but knew you couldn’t get away with! Want to smash your neighbor’s lawn gnomes or key your boss’s car? If so then this is the perfect day to do so (provided that you don’t get caught)! Happy Independence Day North Dakota, and by independence I mean freedom to commit untold acts and not be arrested for one whole day!!! Happy holidays ;)

Forgetting your library books = Jail?!?!?!

Among the many things it would be embarrassing to admit being imprisoned for is for not returning a library book on time. I know many people that would be shocked to hear that this is even possible, much less that the punishment is this harsh but this truly is a law.

That’s right, in Salt Lake City, Utah a person can be imprisoned for one month for not returning a library book. The specifics are that injuring, destroying, or failing to return library books is prohibited with this severe penalty.

I know that at this point such a law seems a bit like overkill, especially with the extremely “flexible” terms here at Penn State. After all, it is a little hard to imagine such a thing occurring when the on-campus library here allows you to have out up to 200 books at a time due only at the end of each school year, no matter when they’re borrowed. But, I guess they really take their library books and return policies seriously in Utah since it is punishable with fines and jail-time.

The real law states that “It is unlawful for any person to fail to return ANY book, pamphlet, or property of the Free Public Library within 5 days of the receipt of a notice from the librarian thereof, demanding the return of such property. Any person violating any provision of this chapter is guilty of a misdemeanor and upon conviction shall be punished by a fine of $100, imprisonment in the county jail not to exceed one month, OR BOTH!

So basically, for anyone planning to move to Utah or for those that already do or maybe even for people just passing through, you NEVER, EVER want to forget to return the books you’ve borrowed and if you receive a notice such as mentioned above it would probably be a good idea to find anything you took and return it with all possible haste.

Tennessee, Gone to the birds!

In Tennessee it is illegal to hunt birds from an airplane. This is one law that you don’t need to be a lawyer to decode since it states quite simply the provisions for hunting birds and the types of crafts from which it may not be done.

Most states have hunting laws prohibiting those wishing to go out in search of game from having too much of an unfair advantage, however, none seem to be as extensive as this law in their scope. While in most places they feel it is sufficient to merely not operate vehicles and stay away from houses or buildings, in Tennessee they go to even farther lengths to protect their birds and animals.

The actual law is listed under the heading detailing rules about hunting from aircrafts, watercrafts, or motor vehicles and declaring them all to be unlawful. It reads, “It is unlawful to chase, hunt, or kill any wild birds, wild animals, or wild fowl in the state of Tennessee from any craft propelled by electric, gasoline, steam or sail power, or AIRPLANE or hydroplane or from any automobile or motor vehicle.”

There is so much encompassed here that I almost don’t know where to begin. All of these things are illegal there, so it looks like Tennessee natives will be hunting on foot for now unless they come up with some outlandish type of transportation that gets around all of those explicit and lengthy stipulations.

So, if you ever decide to go hunting ANYWHERE especially Tennessee, please take into account all of the crazy rules and regulations so you don’t get fined or arrested. This is a pretty dumb thing to get punished for and almost embarrassing if you get caught, besides birds are cute and though most seem highly ridiculous, this law was actually written for a valid reason and should be respected.

That is unless your aim is to gain a possible misdemeanor charge or you’re looking for a way to get rid of some money…

Drinking Perfume!

What in the world? Why would anyone want to sell perfume as a drink, you might ask. In Delaware it IS illegal to sell perfume as a drink.


Also, how is it possible to discern if it is being sold for the purposes of drinking as opposed to a fragrance enhancer, as it is normally known to be applied? Well the truth is that I have no idea either but apparently at some time this must have been an issue big enough to warrant a law prohibiting it.


This law makes me wonder what went on in Delaware in the past and leads to images of police arresting anyone smelling too strongly of perfume.


Yes, it is in fact illegal to sell perfume as a drink. However, you don’t need to worry if this is where your income comes from since this apparently applies in Delaware only.
The actual law is very specific, noting that “Sales, offers for sale, or keeps with the intent to sell for beverage purposes, denatured alcohol, PERFUME, lotion, tincture, fluid extract or essence, or other liquid or solid not originally manufactured or intended for use as a beverage, containing more than half of 1 percent of ethyl alcohol by volume shall be IMPRISIONED not less than 3 months nor more than 6 months.”


Wow, that’s an unusually specific and wide ranging law considering that I have never heard of anyone being punished for this and it’s not a widespread issue. The basic gist of the law is that selling perfume with more than half of 1% of ethyl alcohol could land you in jail for 3 to 6 months.


Also, it doesn’t end there. This law contains a second part stating that it is also illegal to sell alcohol where it is illegal. That’s right, who would have guessed that it would be illegal to do something where it’s not legal? That sounds like a tongue twister but it’s actually a true part of Delaware law. It might be just me but I find this to be highly redundant and a bit obvious.


So for anyone planning a visit to Delaware, be careful about where you sell perfume (and why) and alcohol! Also, please don't get too crazy and drink perfume this weekend since it's definitely not recommended as a drink ;)

Children CAN Play on Highways !!!

There is a law in Maui County, Hawaii stating that children may play on busy highways! You, like me, may be thinking this was a typo. However, you read this correctly, children CAN play ON highways. As long as they meet the age requirement children can in fact play on public highways. What?!?!

I personally see this as dangerous, but apparently someone in Hawaii doesn’t agree. According to Hawaii law, In Maui County, Hawaii children must be twelve years old to play on a busy highway. So theoretically as soon as you are twelve years old it is perfectly legal to frolic through even rush hour traffic. For some strange reason, I oppose this law. It could be that playing on highways will result in accidents, death, etc. Call me crazy, but this seems pretty dangerous and stupid.

The official version of this law states “It is unlawful for any child UNDER the age of twelve years to play or loiter upon that portion of the public highway used for vehicular traffic in any congested district in the county (aka. busy highways).” What is the punishment for children under twelve that do so you may ask? Nothing. No child endangerment, no parental fines, nothing at all is done. The rest of the law goes on to state, “and any child so found loitering  or playing upon such portion of the highway may be taken into custody by any police officer of the probation officer for the county and DETAINED until the parent, guardian, or person having custody, control, or supervision of the child calls for the child.”

So in other words, apparently the worst that can happen is for a parent to not realize their child is gone and never call to have them released/go pick them up. And that’s it. Who ever knew Hawaii was so dangerous?!?!?!